Loving For Keeps

A blog by Melissa Smith Baker

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Relationship Books by Melissa Smith Baker

Loving for Keeps concepts are also available in print and ebook: Hot Relationship Topics, Le Budget Envelope Game & How to Save Your Relationship… From Yourself.

…read more reviews on Amazon…

Hot Relationship Topics: Secrets of an Extraordinary Relationship

Hot Relationship Topics by Melissa Smith Baker
Click to buy

Romantic relationships are one of the most talked about yet misunderstood topics on the planet. Even though relationships are difficult to understand, they are also the most rewarding experience a human can have. If you’d like to have an extraordinary relationship with your partner, then learn about the surprising secrets.

Hot Relationship Topics: Secrets of an Extraordinary Relationship, will help you navigate the soul-stretching path of self-development in a long-term relationship.

…Truly a must read for any one who is in a relationship that they wish to remain in and actually enjoy that choice.

Definitely a book that should be on everyone’s bookshelf.

I find all of the information in the book to be very helpful and tangible which is great and the compact nature of it makes it so that it can reach a wide variety of people. The stories are very helpful for applying the knowledge, I like the layout of topic, introduction, information, story and conclusion. I think the formulaic aspect to the book is very strong. I like seeing that you use yourself as a reference. You have a great wealth of knowledge in this area and a very effective and efficient way of explaining what you know and breaking down the more complex pieces. To show people you can do this you need to have a confident voice. Referencing yourself helps to prove this confidence and I think it is pivotal in helping people who have never met you who are reading this trust you and what you know and how you know what you know.
~ A. D. from Keene, NH

Loved this book better than your last one. I want to give it to my daughter and her fiance. It’s very well-written and accessible to everyone. Wonderful read.
~ EW, therapist, Santa Rosa, CA

Just want you to know how valuable the wisdom you share in it is and how much of it resonates with me given my recent experiences of myself and my marriage.

I love the idea of the quick writes! Something I used as a teacher often but never thought of using as an individual regarding my own quandaries. I journal a fair amount but a quick write is very different and yields access to the unconscious in a different way. And, it’s something I can do even if my husband doesn’t want to do, unlike the embrace and gazing into each others eyes exercises.

I’m not sure I would have related to nearly as much of what you share in either of your two books, had I not been older and had a lot of life experience under my belt, but nonetheless, the mini chapters give a lot to ponder, old or young!
~ DN, Sebastopol, CA

I consider this invaluable information that every young couple should start their relationship with.
~ Anonymous, Windsor, CA


Melissa Smith Baker walks her relationship talk with her husband of over forty years. The innovative content of her books and curriculum is unique, not just tips and tricks.

…read more reviews on Amazon…

Le Budget Envelope Game

Le Budget Game by Melissa Smith Baker
Click to buy

Tired of spending beyond your means? Feeling out of control of your finances? Wishing you could afford your dream vacation? Got stress in your relationship over money?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then play Le Budget Envelope Game.

Try a cash-only budget that uses envelopes to help you save thousands of dollars per year. In only one minute per day, you can save money in a fun and easy way. Simple directions. Forget about time-consuming record keeping.

Anyone can play — individuals and couples — if you know how to add and subtract. You don’t even have to calculate anything before you start.

I bought your little book about The Envelope method for learning to use money wisely and gave it to my son. It’s elegant and brilliantly simple. I loved it.¨

~ J.P., Sebastopol, CA

My son and his girlfriend are LeBudget junkies, and are saving $$ like crazy. What an incredible idea you had!
~ C.W. in Geyserville, CA

I know your book really helped me. I’ve adapted some of your techniques to fit my life but I have really been able to stick with it.
~ A.D. 25 years old, Keene, NH

Le Budget is fun. I never thought I could get my husband to play a budget game with me, but he loves it. We don’t argue over expenses anymore.

This is an amazing little book. I plan to play the game. I’m going to start with a little background work on fixed expenses and getting out of the credit card loop.
~ LT, Sebastopol, CA

I love your new book. It’s such a simple idea and I can see where it would be so helpful. Although I must admit – it is hard to start a new budget in the midst of the Christmas holidays. My husband and I are going to sit down at the beginning of the new year and seriously implement your envelope system! Thank you for such splendid advice!!
~ T.F. from Santa Rosa, CA

Success Stories

A woman couldn’t get her husband to play Le Budget. He wasn’t interested in doing any calculations to figure out their weekly expenses. I advised her to let him throw out a number for his weekly expenses. (Yes, the amount can be arbitrary. It doesn’t matter. What matters is getting the game going.) So, she accepted the figure, but he insisted that her amount be less than his. Even though she was taken aback at first, she decided that this was fine with her, too. Luckily, she knew that starting Le Budget was what mattered the most, nothing else. Now they are off and running and saving thousands of dollars. It’s that easy to get Le Budget going.

It doesn’t take agreement to start, only the knowledge that if you don’t begin, nothing will change and you’ll keep spending money unconsciously. This game is a psychological one.

Now when the woman goes to Costco, she has $100 in cash with her. She used to spend $300 every time because she’d be seduced by all the latest gadgets. She doesn’t buy those anymore, only what she needs and she doesn’t feel deprived when she gets home. She’s elated that she’s saving money instead of spending so much of it.

~ KL from Forestville, CA

This couple lives on a ranch and only goes shopping on weekends. They’d usually spend $1,000 per weekend — all on credit cards. After reading LE BUDGET, now they only take $400 in cash with them and always come home with at least $50 leftover. They go out to lunch, buy special treats for their many animals, etc. They said they don’t feel constrained. In fact, they can hardly believe that they ever spent that much each and every weekend.

~ CW from Cloverdale, CA

A man wanted to spend less on his lunches during the week. I recommended that he put $50 in cash in his wallet for those meals. Even if he spends more than that, at least he knows the amount that he’s over. He’s saving a few hundred dollars a month just by taking this one small step towards budgeting.

~ MT from Rohnert Park, CA


Once you start, you’ll never stop playing Le Budget Envelope Game because it’ll enhance your sense of empowerment and enrich the quality of your life. All you need to play is envelopes, paper, and a pen. Start Today and Learn How to Manage Your Money!

…read more reviews on Amazon…

How To Save Your Relationship… From Yourself

How to Save Your Relationship by Melissa Smith Baker
Click to buy

If you want to know how to stop believing in myths about commitment, love, intimacy, soul mates, victimization and more, this pithy and fun book is a must-read.

Every page is filled with busted myths. Just killing one myth will dramatically change your long-term relationship. The more myths you can eradicate, the more you are guaranteed to have an extraordinary marriage. Soon you’ll understand the ways you were unknowingly destroying your relationship.

Get ready to dispel myths!

It’s a great book. I have tried to get some of my friends to read it. It could change their lives but…
~ R.V., a professor in Boston, MA

Your book is well written and interesting, and encourages folks to be responsible for themselves.
~ J.B., therapist

I re-read your book on the plane. Even better the second time!”
~ L.J. from Denver, CO

Every time I read a chapter from your book I feel stimulated and appreciative. You’ve written an important book in the field. Please consider hiring an agent or a publicist to help get it published. Send a copy to Oprah.
~ K.K. from Arizona

I have read your wonderful book twice and I’m finding it extremely helpful in putting these long-term relationships in perspective. I also want to thank your husband for being the worthy partner and catalyst for the deep and meaningful work you do together.
~ N.P. from Oakland, CA who has been married since 1987

I’m reading your book. It means I really have to get my life together to have a relationship, doesn’t it?
~ Anonymous, 15-year-old

I have been reading through your book and want you to know how much I’m enjoying the simple (but hard to live) truths. It is a gem of a book and I am going to recommend it and share it with clients and friends. It is obvious you have lived into these truths and I’m guessing the learning never ceases. That is the gift you and your husband have given yourselves by living in relationship fully for all these years together. After 25 years with Bob, I know much of this journey and that we have much more to traverse. I’m happy we have made it past some of the most difficult myth busting and continue to choose to stay together. The rewards are great. Thanks for the gift of your presence and wisdom always and now of your book. Your writing style is very easy to read and enjoy. lovely!
~ R.H. therapist in Sebastopol, CA

I loved reading your wise, no nonsense and humorous little book.”
~ J.P. from Sebastopol, CA

I ordered your book for a friend’s birthday – 3 of us have been reading it together during our Friday afternoon sewing/chat gatherings.
~ L.C. from Cornish, NH

I teach elementary school and I gave a parent in my class a copy of your book for Christmas. I apologized for being presumptuous but I thought maybe she’d find it interesting. She had confided in me that she was in a relationship that was very important to her—relatively new—but that she was feeling tentative because of her daughter. I saw her yesterday. They’re engaged. He had read the book too! They loved your book!
~ Anonymous

I think your book is excellent, so concise, to the point, and fun to read. It should be required reading before marriage. Getting married should be harder than divorcing. I bought a copy for my 16-year-old niece.
~ E.M. from Kenwood, CA

Wow-y-Wow! I really enjoyed your book. I felt the positive effects in my relationship immediately, if just re-framing my old perspectives on expectations of a relationship. I’m definitely going to be re-visiting each section. They are wonderful meditations and each one of the myths is worthy of spending time and workshopping internally.

I was toying with the idea of starting a meetup group here […] to workshop your book. I was thinking we could read one myth at a time and discuss them as a group, maybe share our reflections. I am NOT at all a relationship guru, but I thought it would be great to start a peer-lead group here in town and share your wisdom and insight.
~ K.P.

I love everything about your book…Narrative has a friendly tone (not preachy or like you’re talking down to anyone) — we feel we can connect with you because you’ve had the same relationship issues, so there’s no feeling of judgment. You say just enough about each concept and don’t do a lot of repeating/rehashing. I like the suggestion of reading and absorbing one myth at a time; even though the sections themselves are relatively short/tight, there is a ton of information in each, and I found that I got more out of a section each subsequent time I reviewed it. I think this approach is a great learning tool for readers. The myths themselves are straightforward and easy to understand. I like that you get right to the point without a lot of fluff, and you do so with your wonderful, friendly narrative style and tone. The information is so good and has such depth, I intend to go back to it again and again… Everyone will love this for so many reasons — the information, the guidance, and the wisdom you’re sharing based on your experiences, plus the website resources and blog…there’s just so much to offer. It’s short, but the quality and impact of the information doesn’t suffer. It’s just lovely.
~ C.W. from Geyserville, CA

I loved your book. I know I will continue to use the great advice in it from time to time even though my husband are getting along great right now.
~ L. J. from Evergreen, CO

I think your book has so many helpful and very practical tips. I love the idea that marriage is a relationship that one can work out who they are–that has been so true for me and I think others can benefit from that concept, if they really thought about it. I have loaned your book to a premarital couple and in the months and years to come, I will encourage others to buy it. Again, lots of practical info in that book..
~ P.S., a therapist from Santa Rosa, CA

YOUR BOOK IS A GODSEND!!!
Each of us has read the book thru separately and now we are working thru the myths and exercises, sometimes together, sometimes alone. What an amazingly helpful, concise, insightful, even fun book you have written. I am so thankful for you, and for your words. Could it have been more timely???
~ C.H. from Seattle, WA

Your book is remarkable and I bet it does fabulously. I really like the presentation with the type, cover and chapter designs, the subject matter, and the way you make it so user-friendly. Every couple in America could benefit from some education like this.
~ M.D., MFT from Petaluma, CA

I’m trying to get all of my friends to read your book. Your book is better than any therapy I’ve tried.
~ RV, professor in Boston, MA

…read more reviews on Amazon…

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Want a vibrant and happy relationship?

You can have it!Find the passion in your marriage with Melissa Smith Baker My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My blogs, newsletters, books, classes, and talks use humor and real-life examples to illustrate the challenges inherent in every long-term relationship. Since 2002 I have helped transform thousands of relationships, including my own. And I can help you, too.

“When you apply the concepts that Melissa presents in an engaging way, they actually work!”
~ Mary Disharoon, MFT

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