You are taking care of yourself when –
- You are clear about what you believe in and can act from your belief system.
- You are in touch with your feelings. Living life, not enduring it is your motto.
- You are not obsessive, only doing more when it’s necessary.
- You live actively and responsively, not reactively.
- You trust your intuition because you believe in who you are.
- You are open to your partner’s opinions but they do not define you.
- You are optimistic and make things happen in your life. You are proactive.
- You are excited about your projects.
- You have high standards and are accountable for your actions. You do not make exceptions for your partner for “stuff” that you would not tolerate in anyone else.
- You appreciate feedback and you can tell when it’s real or manipulative. You do not succumb to flattery.
- You are with a partner where there is mutual love.
- You enjoy sex but not if it costs you your integrity.
- You can feel anger, not just victimization and hurt.
- You have the right to decide what you want or don’t want to do.
- You respect others. You speak up if your partner is abusive to you, your children, or others.
- You are always aware of choices. You feel clear and confident rather than confused most of the time. You are mostly content, living a vibrant life.
- You live a life that has ups and down, but is not one of one crisis after another.
- You decide how long you want to be committed in any relationship in your life.
- You can have a private life, have your own secrets without being clandestine or dishonest.
Do you resonate with any of the above non-codependent descriptions?
Pick one of the above statements and contemplate how wonderful it is making your life. If you can’t identify with at least one of the above, save your relationship now and attend a CODA meeting.
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