Contrary to popular belief, passion is the thinking part of sex — the neocortex at work. Our genitals are not our major sex organs, our brain and heart are. The neocortex, our imaginative mind, plays the lead role determining our sexual desire and provides us the answer to our question, “How to save my relationship?”
Commonly, people view the sexual experience as a tension builder and reliever. They think this is passion, but in long-term relationships passion goes beyond the biological urges of a casual one-night stand.
If long-term couples can’t understand that sex is more than hormonally driven, more than mating or breeding, their relationship won’t survive. Couples are yearning for loving union. But what does that mean? Can it be the answer to how to save a relationship?
It means that lovemaking is a highly personal and generous affair, not just — you get what you want and I get what I want. Only your brain and your heart can say with whom, what, how, and where you’ll have sex.
Your penis or your vagina do not know how to make love. You do! You can only create passion in marriage if there’s a YOU to share with your partner. The more developed your sense of self is, the more creative you can be as a lover.
A deeply satisfying sexual relationship means partners are not just accommodating each other. It means that each partner knows a lot about who he/she is. Knowing who you are is the path to how to save your relationship.
Do you offer your partner more than horny hormones?
What’s personal about your lovemaking?
Sex gets better because I know and accept myself more than I did 30 years ago. Self-development is the key component to better sex, not a bunch of techniques and positions. Do you agree?
My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My
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