Loving For Keeps

A blog by Melissa Smith Baker

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Should You Get A Divorce?

August 27, 2012 By Melissa Leave a Comment

“How to save my relationship instead of getting divorced?” is what most people are asking these days. Why? One reason is finances. After partners split up, studies show that each partner is usually much less well off. During this economic downturn, couples are trying to hold on to their marriages, but money can’t be the main reason to stay together.

Loving For Keeps marriage cartoon – Save your relationship and see what you have in common

Is there a good or bad time of life to split up?

Many couples are breaking up as their hormones are rebalancing and they’re coming to grips with aging. Midlife is not the most prudent time to split up, but is any time more opportune than another?

If you’ve been grinning and bearing your long-term relationship for years, how much longer can you stand it? When should you move on? Probably many couple friends of yours have already dissolved their marital ties, and perhaps even run into the arms of new lovers. Have you contemplated doing the same?

I want to give you hope for the marriage that you’re in right now because the statistic is out: Most couples who get divorced regret it five years afterwards. The London Times recently reported that divorce is on the rise, yet people are yearning for successful long-term relationships more than ever.

Some of the couples I teach are on the verge of divorce, and once they understand their relationships in new ways, they are thankful that they didn’t throw in the towel when the marital journey got unbearable.

There’s an 80% chance that your partner is not your problem; your faulty understanding of relationships is. How to save a relationship is possible when you understand that all long-term relationships go through tough, excruciating times. That’s how they evolve! Relationships work on you; you don’t work on them. Did you know that?

Your marriage is doomed if you don’t redefine and understand the following topics: intimacy, desire, sex, commitment, the evolution of long-term relationships, freedom, connection, personal growth, stress and anxiety, taking care of yourself, and the fact that you love and hate your partner.

If you have a different understanding, you might be able to have a renewed life with the partner you are with right now. And, if you don’t learn how to save your relationship at Loving For Keeps, at least you will have saved yourself and you’ll know the real reasons why you’ll have to leave your relationship and find another one.

Do two, 2-minute Quick-Writes *
First, use this sentence completion: I want to stay with my partner because …
Second, use this sentence completion: I want to leave my partner because… If any of the above topics (intimacy, sex, desire, etc.) come up in your Quick-Writes, review the information on my website and subscribe to my newsletter.
What I’m offering you is a revolutionary viewpoint on the enigmatic topic of relationships.

*For a description of a Quick-Write, click here.

What is pushing you to think about divorce?

Filed Under: Loving For Keeps Blog Tagged With: Personal Growth

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Want a vibrant and happy relationship?

You can have it!Find the passion in your marriage with Melissa Smith Baker My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My blogs, newsletters, books, classes, and talks use humor and real-life examples to illustrate the challenges inherent in every long-term relationship. Since 2002 I have helped transform thousands of relationships, including my own. And I can help you, too.

“When you apply the concepts that Melissa presents in an engaging way, they actually work!”
~ Mary Disharoon, MFT

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