Research shows that hugs are healing. I read a story about a bus driver in NYC who used to hug his passengers when they got on the bus. People would line up for blocks to get their daily hit.
There’s power in an embrace. International huggers are going around the world spontaneously spreading hug therapy. How can hug energy be infused into a long-term relationship? It could be an answer to your question, “How to save my relationship?”
Sensual hugging is often part of the sexual repertoire, but how about hugging as a stress-reliever? The challenge is learning how to hug your partner in a completely different way, a way that you’ve probably never hugged your parents, kids, or friends.
Description of a stress-reliever hug
Set a timer for 5 minutes. Stand comfortably facing your partner. Reach out your arms to each other, but don’t lean on one another. If your partner is way taller than you, stand on something to equalize the height differential. Don’t look at or talk to each other. What’s important is that you stand on your own. Your partner must do the same. Expect nothing from your partner. Concentrate on yourself, on what is going on inside you. You aren’t trying to give to or receive from your partner. What you’re trying to do is listen to and manage any thoughts or emotions that rise up from within you.
If you physically feel uncomfortable, shift your weight and try another position. Keep hugging until the timer has gone off. This hugging exercise teaches you how to save a relationship.
After a stress-reliever hug, if you and your partner can talk about the feelings and thoughts that come up, that’s helpful, but it’s not mandatory. Do the hug at a mutually agreed-upon time on a regular basis.
Why is this stress-reliever hug helpful?
Because this kind of hugging symbolizes what you and your partner want to achieve in a healthy relationship – to connect with yourself while simultaneously connecting with each other.
This simple, transformative gesture has the capacity to put a relationship into a relaxed state. Only then can you and your partner be resourceful enough to know how to save your relationship.
Dr. David Schnarch, author of Passionate Marriage, is a great proponent of this hug. You’ll read pages about it in his revolutionary book. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
This couple in the marriage cartoon doesn’t want to hug. Can’t you imagine if they did, they’d be better off for it?
Hug when you’re bouncing off the wall with excitement, and hug after a marital disagreement when it’s especially hard to reach out and embrace your partner.