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Pornography And Addiction

July 5, 2013 By Melissa Leave a Comment

Pornography can either help your sexual liberation or stunt it. It’s your responsibility to be aware of whether erotic material is enhancing or destroying your life; harming or saving your relationship.

The definition of pornography is erotic material whose main purpose is sexual or sensual stimulation and arousal. What’s wrong with that? Nothing, unless it leads you to humiliation, subjugation, degradation, denigration, sadism and/or abuse of yourself or others.

Loving For Keeps marriage cartoon – how to save a relationship: do you love me?There are many different kinds of pornography that don’t have any of the above characteristics. Pornography is not necessarily toxic, but the industry keeps pushing the envelope in its attempt to normalize aberrant behavior.

Real live partners do not have sex like porn stars. Healthy partners are not nymphomaniacs who are always eager to participate in extreme practices. Orgasms are not always explosive; and bodies don’t have to be altered to have great sex in the exaggerated way that most porn actors feel they have to do in order to make a living.

Ultimately you have to be the one to determine whether you think pornography – soft-core, hard-core, or erotica — is worthwhile hearing, watching or reading or whether you want to incorporate it into your sex life at all. If you do indulge, be vigilant. 56% of divorces list pornography as one of the reasons they are in court, and it’s not always the guy who’s an addict. 30% of pornography consumers are women.

Are you capable of recognizing when you’ve gotten warped and fallen over the edge into pathology, into addiction?

Pornography is just like any other addiction. People ruin their lives because they cannot control their urges and impulses. A pornography compulsive habit can turn into an addiction that consumes you, wreaking havoc in your relationship and your world.

Listen to a lively, intelligent but not a moral debate about the pros and cons of pornography. The presenters are highly educated and articulate. The questions from the audience are thought provoking. It’s really worthwhile spending 90 minutes listening to this formal debate from England entitled “Pornography is Good for Us: Without it We Would be a Far More Repressed Society“. Lastly, take Dr. Robert LeFever’s addiction test. (He’s one of the debaters.)
You might be surprised what you’re addicted to.

Filed Under: Loving For Keeps Blog Tagged With: Sex and Desire

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Want a vibrant and happy relationship?

You can have it!Find the passion in your marriage with Melissa Smith Baker My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My blogs, newsletters, books, classes, and talks use humor and real-life examples to illustrate the challenges inherent in every long-term relationship. Since 2002 I have helped transform thousands of relationships, including my own. And I can help you, too.

“When you apply the concepts that Melissa presents in an engaging way, they actually work!”
~ Mary Disharoon, MFT

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