It’s Not About the Nail, is a humorous yet poignant, must-see YouTube that over 4 million viewers have been enjoying over the last few months. Why are droves of people so taken by it?
We’re all oblivious to our own “nails” sticking out of our forehead that our partner can so clearly see. And when our partner says something that might help us get the “nail” out, we resist. We don’t want to listen.
Often we get defensive and even more entrenched in our position, driving the “nail” in deeper because our partner has hit “the nail on the head,” so to speak. Most of us would prefer that our partner listen to our story again and again instead of doing something to reframe it.
At the end of the video, the couple can’t even hug each other because that “nail” is still in the way, preventing intimacy, guarding the distance between the frustrated couple. Does this scenario sound all too familiar to you?
It’s always easier to see your partner’s rather than your own. If you could admit that your “nails” are sticking out of your forehead, would you be able to change your relationship? Ask yourself if you want to do something about your issues instead of talking about them? Your “nails” are in the way of the relationship you are yearning for. What are you willing to do about them?
My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My
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