How To Keep Your Relationship Alive

Sweet times are gold in a relationship

How many times and how many ways can you have extraordinary moments with your partner? Once you’ve savored magical experiences together, don’t you yearn for them to return again and again? It feels so great when you hit the mark. What’s your favorite memory? Was it a romantic night when you both went skinny dipping on the beach and made passionate love on the grass in the moonlight? Doesn’t that one amazing night keep you going for days, weeks, months, and even years?
Long-term couples live for that euphoria. There’s nothing like it in the universe. That’s why almost every book and movie have a love story. Love is compelling beyond words, and then life’s stresses hit the fan. The giddiness of the high deflates because there’s always overwhelm in life to contend with.

What to do when your relationship isn’t the way you want it to be

At first we might not remember that we need help. What we do remember is how great it feels to be on top of the world holding our partner’s hand, and that’s what keeps us going. We might have to swallow our pride to admit that we haven’t been paying attention to what’s really important. We might need to hear the same information over and over again about how to dispel relationship myths. We might need reminding that relationship education isn’t a one-time course; it has to be repeated and repeated. We remember and forget — everyone does, even the relationship experts.

It’s a fact that there’s a negative bias to memory. That means that when people remember their life’s experiences, they remember the bad stuff more than the good. That’s why it’s important to keep creating the positive in order to outweigh the negative.

2 ways to get the pizazz back into your relationship

1. GO AWAY! Your romantic getaway could be short or long, simple or extravagant. It doesn’t matter. The main thing is to do it — and do it regularly. You can go out on dates, if that’s all the time you have, but longer periods of time are more fulfilling. I recommend at least 12 hours. And, if you can’t do it for an overnight, go to a hotel for a day. Some reputable hotels have hourly rates. Contact me at mel@lovingforkeeps.com for a great place in San Francisco. Click here to get some ideas about how to have a successful and fun getaway.
2. SURPRISES!Plan a surprise for your partner. Keep it small but inventive. Use your creativity. Make up an adventure or a game. How about breakfast out at a hot springs where you spend the day soaking in tubs and massaging each other and/or going on a treasure hunt? Or, how about buying some olive or coconut oil and slathering it all over each other? It can also be as simple as writing I LOVE YOU on a special notecard.Yes, it takes time to prepare a surprise or a getaway, but creative play is also fun and exciting. If you need any ideas, contact me at mel@lovingforkeeps.com for a list of suggestions that will help spark your own imagination.

The old adage has to be true — success comes from getting up one more time than you fall down. Vibrant couples know that that they have to be vigilant about getting back on track. We figure out how to bounce back again and again. We don’t give up.

How to get started and keep your relationship alive today

Write down all the memorable times that you and your partner have shared together. Have you forgotten them? And, if you don’t have many to remember, it’s never too late to start. Plan something tonight — how about a little hide and seek? At the end of this blog, you’ll find out how to play this fun game.