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Getting Organized Helps You and Your Relationship

February 19, 2013 By Melissa Leave a Comment

Most people’s lives are too busy. They never have enough time for everything they have to and want to do. If that’s the case for you, then some tips about organization will save your relationship from getting lost in the busy-ness.

You can’t be clear-headed if what you have to do is on your mind. So dumping your to-do lists into a reliable system will help you relax and have more time and fun with your partner.

Here’s the first step: Buy the book Getting Things Done, The Art of Stress-Free Productivity by David Allen. It’s a great read, not dry or boring.

Loving For Keeps marriage cartoon – how to save a relationship: is there an app?Here are a few of David Allen’s practical ideas:

  1. Adhere to a 2-minute rule. Stop procrastinating by doing whatever is on your list right now, if it takes 2 minutes or less. You’ll be surprised that most of what you have to do only takes 2 minutes. So, muster up your will power and do it NOW.
  2. Get a 4-drawer file cabinet (without hanging files), paper, manilla folders, and a label printer. You need your own file system that you don’t share with anyone else. (You can go mostly digital, but there is still paper that needs to be filed.) Make categories for everything, even if a single folder only has one piece of paper in it. Use a label printer because you need to keep your files neat and legible. Gather up all your papers and notes and create one integrated file system for your work and personal life. Everything in your life is important and worthwhile filing.
  3. Break down an action into parts. People usually don’t know what the next action step is. They get overwhelmed if they don’t understand all the necessary incremental steps that need to take place to complete a task. For example, if you want to buy your partner a gift, what do you have to do? Decide what kind of gift you want to give. Research the gift – on the net or at brick and mortar stores. Determine how much you want to spend. Purchase the gift. Make a decision about how you want to give it to her or him. (Are you going to wrap it or not? Hide it and surprise your partner?) To accomplish buying your partner a gift, you’ll have to do all five of these actions. Always figure out what your next action step is and you’ll get lots of stuff done instead of procrastinating.

The beauty of the Getting Things Done (GTD) system is: It’s very easy to implement and it’s effective. It has had a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. For the first time in 37 years of being together, my husband is keeping track of everything – from lists of errands to social dates. And I now have files in my own 4-drawer file cabinet where I can locate everything I need at a minute’s notice.

I no longer get frustrated that my husband relies on me to hold the social calendar and my husband no longer has to put up with my paperwork being strewn all over the floor.

Save your relationship from the stress and conflict of being disorganized!

Make a file and label it with your partner’s name
A cluttered mind will find excuses why everything else is more important than your partner. You won’t want to have sex, have fun, anything until you get the things done that you’re thinking about. The problem is you’ll never get everything done because it’s not possible. So you’ll probably eliminate your romantic relationship from your to-do list. GTD helps romance because your relationship is integrated into your system, not just an after-thought. Fill your partner’s file with notes about what to talk about and do together. Buying a gift for your partner is just as important as giving a presentation at your work.

Filed Under: Loving For Keeps Blog Tagged With: Personal Growth

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Want a vibrant and happy relationship?

You can have it!Find the passion in your marriage with Melissa Smith Baker My name is Melissa Smith Baker. I am a relationship teacher, author, and speaker. My blogs, newsletters, books, classes, and talks use humor and real-life examples to illustrate the challenges inherent in every long-term relationship. Since 2002 I have helped transform thousands of relationships, including my own. And I can help you, too.

“When you apply the concepts that Melissa presents in an engaging way, they actually work!”
~ Mary Disharoon, MFT

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