Eye Gazing

This is how to make emotional contact with your partner – in good and bad times.

Looking at each other is a powerful exercise that you and your partner can do in and out of the bedroom. “How to save my relationship?” you ask. This simple exercise is the answer.

Look into your partner’s eyes in a mutually agreed upon, quiet space. Don’t talk. This is not about staring, but about really looking at someone you love and letting yourself be seen. Take the necessary time to get comfortable. Soften your eyes. Relax your face. Make yourself receptive. Let your eyes reach out to your partner from the best in you, your resourceful, creative, and loving self. Remind yourself of what is wonderful about you and about your partner. Relate to yourself and to your partner knowing that you and he/she have the capacity to change. You might run into your own resistances, fears, and barriers. Note them in the back of your mind.

Do this exercise for at least five minutes. Setting a timer can be helpful. If you wish, afterwards, discuss with your partner what you experienced, but this is not necessary.

You can do the above exercise either sitting face to face or lying in bed, each one of you with your head on separate pillows at a distance that works for both of you. It’s important to be physically comfortable. Repeat daily.

If both of you open your eyes and look at each other while you have an orgasm, it makes your sexual experience even more intense and deep. It’s not that easy to do at first, but keep trying because this deeply personal connection is how to save a relationship.

What if you’re not getting along?

That’s when my husband and I do this exercise the most. When we’re going through a tough time, each day we feel a little change after doing eye gazing. But sometimes it takes a week or more before we breakthrough and reconnect. We set the timer and don’t talk afterwards because a few minutes of being with each other is all we can tolerate. This exercise is how to save your relationship. It’s a sure way to deepen your connection with your partner when times are smooth, and to reconnect when times are rocky.