Connectivity versus Connection

Technology has indubitably changed how humans interact. In my classes people, young and old, talk about feeling isolated even though they use Facebook and their cell phones for many hours per day.

Human connectivity and connection are miles apart in how they feel. It’s ironic that the more connectivity we have via the internet, the less connection actually exists. Connectivity can lead to disconnection if you end up spending more time in cyberspace than you do in real physical space with other humans.

If the digital connectivity isn’t making your life happy, then do something different. To do so, however, you’ll have to dare to be a rebel and go counterculture.

To create the deeper and richer relationships that you want, you’ll have to do more than just wish for them; you’ll have to make some effort.

Exercise

Take notes on how you spend your day. Be truthful. What do you do each hour of the day? (Studies show that people are spending seven hours per day in front of screens in addition to their work.) If you’re playing video games, watching movies or serial TV shows, are you alone? How much time per day do you actually have a face-to-face conversation with someone? Do you physically touch someone each and every day — a handshake, a hug, a kiss, etc.

After doing this exercise, evaluate and be critical of what you’ve written. Substitute an alone activity with one you can share with someone else, preferably your partner. Maybe go dancing or play a board game together. What you do or don’t do with your partner definitely determine the quality of your relationship.

Once you become conscious of what your day is like, change one activity at a time. You’ll soon be choosing satisfying connection over dissatisfying connectivity and be living a more fulfilling life.