Autonomy and connection are two forces that play tug-of-war in your relationship. How much do you want to be alone, make your own decisions, lead your own life? And, how much do you want to be connected, plan and do things with your partner?
Research shows that hugs are healing. I read a story about a bus driver in NYC who used to hug his passengers when they got on the bus. People would line up for blocks to get their daily hit. Sensual hugging is often part of the sexual repertoire, but how about hugging as a stress-reliever?
Marriage is learning how to sail your own boat. Your partner has his/hers and you have yours. Each partner has to step up to being the captain of her/his own boat. This is when my students inevitably ask: “Then where is the relationship if we’re each sailing separately, charting our own courses?”