Relationships, especially long-term ones, always need infusions of out-of-the-ordinary. When my students ask me what they can do, I tell them to use their creative imagination, but sometimes they want some suggestions to jumpstart the process.
Here are two ideas that you can do to have fun and create memories besides the mundane of going to the movies or going out to eat. Use any part of these to create your own unique experiences. They don’t cost a lot of money; they are simple and doable activities for which you could prepare a long time or do on the spur of the moment.
- Go with your partner to collect some rocks that you think are interesting. Maybe go to the beach or take a walk in a park. After you’ve each found about a half dozen that you like, write love notes on the rocks with a marker. Don’t let your partner see what you write. Write something simple, such as, “I love you.” “Elaine is my favorite woman in the world.” “Bob, you are a my guy.” Then take turns hiding the message rocks for each other. You could conduct the hunt anywhere — in the house or outside. Imagine how delighted you’ll be to have a few messages to keep on your bedside table or in a special box. And, if you don’t want to do this project with your partner, do it on your own in secret. Write on one rock or a few. Imagine how delighted your partner will be with these surprise love notes.
- Make a date to take a walk with your partner when the moon is full. Before you go meet your partner on a moonlit walk, take the time to hide a bouquet of his or her favorite flowers or a stuffed animal along your dimly-lit path. You don’t even have to buy the gifts; use the flowers that you have in your garden or give her or him one of your favorite “toys.” While you’re taking that romantic walk, make sure your partner “stumbles” upon your surprise.
Every romantic relationship needs playfulness and the element of surprise on a regular basis, not just on birthdays and anniversaries. What you prepare is what you reap. You have to create the magic moments. The “magic” of rekindling romance just doesn’t happen without your intention and creative input.
At the bottom of both of the following blogs — one on how to play and be foolish together and the other one on different ways to have sex — I describe a hide-and-seek game that my husband and I played. It was sexy, hilarious, and definitely NOT run of the mill. Give it a try and see what happens.
Melissa Smith Baker, MA