The essence of sexual desire starts with the relationship with yourself. If you want more passion in marriage, ask yourself, “How to save my relationship?” and answer these questions —
How do you give to yourself?
If you can’t give to yourself, you can’t give to your lover. The essence of passion is generosity, not selfishness. The greatest gift you can give your partner is a full and voluptuous sense of who you are. This is sexy confidence that allows you to wear stiletto heels and a little black dress, even if you’re overweight or in a wheel chair.
Do you know what you’re worth?
If you don’t know what you’re worth, then you can’t find value in your partner, and your partner can’t value you. You won’t know how to treat your partner with respect and honor if you don’t recognize that these qualities exist within you. My Great Aunt Clara told me she’d never sell herself for all the money in the world. Would you say the same? Selling yourself for cheap is not how to save a relationship.
Are you deserving enough to touch yourself, or be touched in the way you want?
If you don’t know what pleases you, how can you expect your partner to know? If you want your partner to turn you on, do you know how to make yourself excited? Do you prefer the tickle of a feather or of a piece of silk on your back or on your breasts?
Your answers to these three questions will help you be as passionate as you want your partner to be. You are the one who can bring passion to your marriage — through generosity, a sense of self-worth, and the knowledge of what excites YOU. Your answers to these questions will help you know how to save your relationship.
How do you give to yourself? Do you know what you’re worth? How do you like to be touched? Set the timer for 2 minutes each and do a Quick-Write. These are big, ever-evolving questions that are the keys to opening the door to passion in your long-term relationship.
*For details on how to do a Quick-Write, click here.
What really helps me is looking at myself in a mirror after I take a shower and massaging my body with coconut oil. (Coconut oil absorbs quickly, doesn’t stain and is inexpensive.) It reminds me every day that I have a body that loves being touched by ME.
I love this marriage cartoon! Click the image to enlarge…